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The Mars Volta will play again2015


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#5721 Germán F.

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Posted 10 January 2021 - 05:44 AM

I can't wait to be in a small crowd of mostly middle-aged, balding, greying hair, paunchy dudes. This comeback can't come soon enough!

Yup, first reunion show gonna be in ten years at tiny el paso club

#5722 AegisTarka

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Posted 10 January 2021 - 10:29 PM

 

We will have baphomets but this will be the intro solo

 

I will admit, I got way too much entertainment out of the thought of this. 

 

Everybody knows that Eva Gardner Gene Simmons was the real Mars Volta bassist.



#5723 AegisTarka

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Posted 10 January 2021 - 11:14 PM

 

I can't wait to be in a small crowd of mostly middle-aged, balding, greying hair, paunchy dudes. This comeback can't come soon enough!

Yup, first reunion show gonna be in ten years at tiny el paso club

 

 

In about 2 years, Thomas Pridgen will form a band with Ralph Jasso, Paul Hinojos, Lars, and Adrian. They will tour as THE MARS VOLTA GROUP, playing the summer festival circuit until Omar and Cedric issue them a cease and desist letter and they are forced to go by THE VENUS VOLTA: FEATURING THOMAS PRIDGEN AND FRIENDS, PLAYING THE MUSIC OF THE MARS VOLTA.

 

Somewhere around 2030, Cedric, wanting to put his kids through college and pay off a boat that he purchased as a result of poor financial advice from his wife, will convince Omar to reform the Mars Volta (billed as THE ORIGINAL MARS VOLTA with Eva Gardner, a geriatric Blake Flemming, and an unnamed keyboard player who looks vaguely like Ikey). They will participate in a "Golden Oldies" package tour with Coheed and Cambria, Dillinger Escape Plan, and Papa Roach (for some reason). This package tour, called LIVE LIKE IT'S 2005!, will be an attempt to cash-in on middle age Millennial nostalgia. Each band will be given about 20 minutes to play. This package tour will make appearances at such notable venues as the Corn Palace in Mitchell, South Dakota and Pachanga Resort Casino in Temecula, CA.

 

Half of THE ORIGINAL MARS VOLTA'S time slot will consist of a recording of the theme from The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly. The silhouettes of Eva, Blake, and the nameless keyboard player will slowly make their way on to stage and mill about aimlessly, waiting for the recording to wrap up. Then, once it finally ends, the keyboard player will say, "Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've been waiting for...Mr. Omar Rodriguez-Lopez and Mr. Cedric Bixler-Zavala! Let's give 'em some love!" There will be a restrained enthusiasm from the audience as some audible claps and "woos" can be heard. Following the announcement, Omar, dressed in a tweed blazer, tweed newsboy hat, and plaid pants will wander out on to the stage, staring straight ahead, guitar in tow. A voice from the back of the audience, probably Teri's, will shout, "I love you, babe!" Cedric, with white stubble, closely cropped hair, and overly tight, rhinestone studded jean clothing that reveals his paunch, will run out on to the stage, the bottom of his stomach visible as his shirt untucks from his pants. "Hello folks!" he will wheeze, then bend over to catch his breath. Somebody from the audience will shout out for One Armed Scissor, but the band will ignore the request. Instead, once his breathing is under control, Cedric will wave his hand and the band will start playing Inertiatic ESP. They will then go into The Widow (with a tease opening of the main riff from Goliath played twice), and close with Since We've Been Wrong (which Cedric will preface by asking the audience, "Does anybody remember the laughter?")

 

After their set, Cedric will remind AARP members that they can get a partial rebate on their ticket and mention something inaudible about "early '00s vintage-stye merch."

 

The entire band will walk off stage, except for Omar, who will stand awkwardly gawking at the audience for another few minutes. Eventually, a roadie will appear, greeting Omar with a "Mr. Rodrigeuz-Lopez?" and usher him off the stage. Omar will be overheard confusedly mentioning something about an encore. Omar will re-appear a moment later mumbling something about misplacing his guitar and walk on to the stage as Papa Roach's people set up for the headlining act.



#5724 Germán F.

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Posted 10 January 2021 - 11:43 PM

Haha! This will probably happen

#5725 Petra

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Posted 10 January 2021 - 11:51 PM

I can't wait to be in a small crowd of mostly middle-aged, balding, greying hair, paunchy dudes. This comeback can't come soon enough!

Yup, first reunion show gonna be in ten years at tiny el paso club

In about 2 years, Thomas Pridgen will form a band with Ralph Jasso, Paul Hinojos, Lars, and Adrian. They will tour as THE MARS VOLTA GROUP, playing the summer festival circuit until Omar and Cedric issue them a cease and desist letter and they are forced to go by THE VENUS VOLTA: FEATURING THOMAS PRIDGEN AND FRIENDS, PLAYING THE MUSIC OF THE MARS VOLTA.

Somewhere around 2030, Cedric, wanting to put his kids through college and pay off a boat that he purchased as a result of poor financial advice from his wife, will convince Omar to reform the Mars Volta (billed as THE ORIGINAL MARS VOLTA with Eva Gardner, a geriatric Blake Flemming, and an unnamed keyboard player who looks vaguely like Ikey). They will participate in a "Golden Oldies" package tour with Coheed and Cambria, Dillinger Escape Plan, and Papa Roach (for some reason). This package tour, called LIVE LIKE IT'S 2005!, will be an attempt to cash-in on middle age Millennial nostalgia. Each band will be given about 20 minutes to play. This package tour will make appearances at such notable venues as the Corn Palace in Mitchell, South Dakota and Pachanga Resort Casino in Temecula, CA.

Half of THE ORIGINAL MARS VOLTA'S time slot will consist of a recording of the theme from The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly. The silhouettes of Eva, Blake, and the nameless keyboard player will slowly make their way on to stage and mill about aimlessly, waiting for the recording to wrap up. Then, once it finally ends, the keyboard player will say, "Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've been waiting for...Mr. Omar Rodriguez-Lopez and Mr. Cedric Bixler-Zavala! Let's give 'em some love!" There will be a restrained enthusiasm from the audience as some audible claps and "woos" can be heard. Following the announcement, Omar, dressed in a tweed blazer, tweed newsboy hat, and plaid pants will wander out on to the stage, staring straight ahead, guitar in tow. A voice from the back of the audience, probably Teri's, will shout, "I love you, babe!" Cedric, with white stubble, closely cropped hair, and overly tight, rhinestone studded jean clothing that reveals his paunch, will run out on to the stage, the bottom of his stomach visible as his shirt untucks from his pants. "Hello folks!" he will wheeze, then bend over to catch his breath. Somebody from the audience will shout out for One Armed Scissor, but the band will ignore the request. Instead, once his breathing is under control, Cedric will wave his hand and the band will start playing Inertiatic ESP. They will then go into The Widow (with a tease opening of the main riff from Goliath played twice), and close with Since We've Been Wrong (which Cedric will preface by asking the audience, "Does anybody remember the laughter?")

After their set, Cedric will remind AARP members that they can get a partial rebate on their ticket and mention something inaudible about "early '00s vintage-stye merch."

The entire band will walk off stage, except for Omar, who will stand awkwardly gawking at the audience for another few minutes. Eventually, a roadie will appear, greeting Omar with a "Mr. Rodrigeuz-Lopez?" and usher him off the stage. Omar will be overheard confusedly mentioning something about an encore. Omar will re-appear a moment later mumbling something about misplacing his guitar and walk on to the stage as Papa Roach's people set up for the headliner act.

Lay off the Adderall, bro.

#5726 Carl

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Posted 11 January 2021 - 11:17 AM

Great post though

#5727 issordni

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Posted 11 January 2021 - 03:19 PM

whenever someone posts something like that i remember homer simpson asking "hey pal, did you get a load of the nerd?"



#5728 Germán F.

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Posted 11 January 2021 - 03:53 PM

Great post though

Yeah, I could visualize all the details and that’s why I think it’s possible it will go down like that! Funny stuff

#5729 CUNTSWAYLO

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Posted 12 January 2021 - 07:11 AM

Havent been on the board in years.   Figured Id stop in and say Hi!



#5730 flipzoso

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Posted 12 January 2021 - 05:26 PM

Havent been on the board in years.   Figured Id stop in and say Hi!

suuuuup



#5731 Germán F.

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Posted 12 January 2021 - 09:28 PM

Havent been on the board in years. Figured Id stop in and say Hi!

Hello. The Mars Volta will play again!

#5732 Rawr1922

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 08:08 AM

Havent been on the board in years. Figured Id stop in and say Hi!

Hello. The Mars Volta will play again!
In 2022

#5733 radiognome

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 08:49 AM

wanna bet?



#5734 swan_song1977

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 05:48 PM

don't bet, its been 9 years and k_new has paid nobody.

 

1200px-CheepCheepNSMBU.png



#5735 Andrewf

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Posted 14 January 2021 - 04:51 AM

Who k_new we'd end up like this?
#tmv2015

#5736 Andrewf

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Posted 14 January 2021 - 11:32 AM

[

In about 2 years, Thomas Pridgen will form a band with Ralph Jasso, Paul Hinojos, Lars, and Adrian. They will tour as THE MARS VOLTA GROUP, playing the summer festival circuit until Omar and Cedric issue them a cease and desist letter and they are forced to go by THE VENUS VOLTA: FEATURING THOMAS PRIDGEN AND FRIENDS, PLAYING THE MUSIC OF THE MARS VOLTA.

You forgot to mention its orlando bloom on vocals

#5737 AegisTarka

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Posted 14 January 2021 - 10:57 PM

 

[

In about 2 years, Thomas Pridgen will form a band with Ralph Jasso, Paul Hinojos, Lars, and Adrian. They will tour as THE MARS VOLTA GROUP, playing the summer festival circuit until Omar and Cedric issue them a cease and desist letter and they are forced to go by THE VENUS VOLTA: FEATURING THOMAS PRIDGEN AND FRIENDS, PLAYING THE MUSIC OF THE MARS VOLTA.

You forgot to mention its orlando bloom on vocals

 

Oh yes, of course, Legolas on lead vocals, but Katy Perry will do guest lead vocals on Wax Simulacra and Ilyena.

 

Sounds like a Delicious recipe for Sympathy.



#5738 AegisTarka

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Posted 14 January 2021 - 11:01 PM

Love Cedric's performance on this song!

 



#5739 broccoli bro

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Posted 14 January 2021 - 11:13 PM

You forgot to mention its orlando bloom on vocals


with a special guest spot by Jonah Hill

#5740 swan_song1977

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Posted 15 January 2021 - 02:24 AM

Love Cedric's performance on this song!

 

wish the cedric versions of the other songs leaked, at least we got one in the pink two in the stink thank u thank u






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